There are times when the wind blows me off course and continues in doing so with deliberate and calculated force. As I am swept up; there are options before me ~ twist, turn, and fight my way back or surrender and capitulate to the sense of uncertainty.
Today, the leaf takes hold for one last time of the mothering tree. The wind rushes in, envelopes the leaf; seizing control and bringing forth a new destiny. The leaf surrenders and angelically dances through it's ballet.
I cup my hands over my mouth, take in a deep breath and watch this take place outside my window....I watch as I take off into the wind.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
From Before...
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."
The cat is nibbling the last morsels of his dinner while the refrigerator prolongs it's monotonous drone. The house breathes in a couple of creaks and cracks now and again, but presently, there is a repose.
What will you do within this time of quiet? How do you continue to find energy within the stillness? When the day is strong, it's energy carries you, pushes you, enfolds upon you; you barely have a moment to stop and ask for direction. Now, the tranquil begins to slowly saturate your existence; it penetrates your world, and much like the noise and clatter of the earlier day, it too, enfolds upon you. What will you do within this time of quiet?
The cat is nibbling the last morsels of his dinner while the refrigerator prolongs it's monotonous drone. The house breathes in a couple of creaks and cracks now and again, but presently, there is a repose.
What will you do within this time of quiet? How do you continue to find energy within the stillness? When the day is strong, it's energy carries you, pushes you, enfolds upon you; you barely have a moment to stop and ask for direction. Now, the tranquil begins to slowly saturate your existence; it penetrates your world, and much like the noise and clatter of the earlier day, it too, enfolds upon you. What will you do within this time of quiet?
fall is upon us...and other things
October 21, 2008
(Picture on left: baby avenson 18 weeks)
Today is the official beginning of Daybook and I am trying to encourage Perry to write. Simon has picked the Motorcycle Diaries for us to listen to during this time. I am sitting up against the fireplace warming my back. School seems to be going well and we were just invited out to play at a park on this beautiful day! We will go with the Ytterbergs and hopefully others. I am so glad Simon has decent taste in music.
John is currently in Florida --- actually, scratch that; he is in New York right now and will come home late Thursday evening - only to turn around in a week or two and do it again. Meanwhile, i am at home with the three, i am 19 weeks pregant and my sunroom is splattered with legos. Perry is in the process of color coordinating them into baskets. a hefty project.
Anyway, that is the current news; with the exception of Barrack Obama and John McCain running for president...OH, and Ralph Nadar. AND, today we will begin our study on Seurat - the pointilism impressionist. BUT, i have to admit, my current position is quite agreeable: fire, beautiful music and writing....what could be better~~ oh yes, all three children are writing as well. *what* they are writing is skeptical, but they are writing and that is the purpose of this excercise.
Life is good and i really don't think i am waiting for that inevitable crash to happen; i am just holding on to the goodness of it all!
Katie
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Random again
So, a visit at daybook time and because it is Perry's turn, we have random music playing.
I have to say, i am in that spot. That spot that you begin to sink down into that piece of furniture and you know it is going to be a masterminded attempt to get out and upright again.
I am in that spot; thinking, what have i done?
With each question, i sink a bit deeper; although knowing it will be more difficult to get back up.
1. Am i doing right by my children?
2. Are they learning from me?
3. Is their experience of value?
4. Would they be better of elsewhere?
5. where did the fun go?
6. Are they isolated?
7. What is the way?
I have said this before; academically, my children are sound. Almost any child in a one on one environment is going to thrive. Are they thriving in everything else that is just as worthy and important? There are not daily play dates. There is not a lot of banter back and forth with classmates. There is no relationship building with classroom teachers.
I realize i am processing by selection. But I need to know if i have offered a world of opened senses...not a world of closed doors. I can not offer a classroom with children of different countries or socio-levels. I have what is only before me. I need time to think, to rearrange. When i plan for a week's lessons at 11pm the evening before; i am closed to the possibilities.
I need time. Time to figure what my first move will be on getting out of that spot.
I have to say, i am in that spot. That spot that you begin to sink down into that piece of furniture and you know it is going to be a masterminded attempt to get out and upright again.
I am in that spot; thinking, what have i done?
With each question, i sink a bit deeper; although knowing it will be more difficult to get back up.
1. Am i doing right by my children?
2. Are they learning from me?
3. Is their experience of value?
4. Would they be better of elsewhere?
5. where did the fun go?
6. Are they isolated?
7. What is the way?
I have said this before; academically, my children are sound. Almost any child in a one on one environment is going to thrive. Are they thriving in everything else that is just as worthy and important? There are not daily play dates. There is not a lot of banter back and forth with classmates. There is no relationship building with classroom teachers.
I realize i am processing by selection. But I need to know if i have offered a world of opened senses...not a world of closed doors. I can not offer a classroom with children of different countries or socio-levels. I have what is only before me. I need time to think, to rearrange. When i plan for a week's lessons at 11pm the evening before; i am closed to the possibilities.
I need time. Time to figure what my first move will be on getting out of that spot.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Almost Spring
Today is Daybook time and the four of us find ourselves sitting in this sun-soaked room; knees propped up on couches; little heads bopping in rhythm to the music, writing about whatever occurs at the moment.
I am trying to get my head on straight with so many things going on....little things that are hidden in details and often forgettable. Writing lists only helps if one remembers to check the list, or remembers to put the list in a prominent place. As much as i try to plan my life ahead of the waves, i am forever just barely making it over before it all comes crashing in. I think my life revolves around the 24 hours prior. Ideas, schedules, agendas begin a fabulous genesis in my mind with great advancement. If i were in charge of writing the 66 books of the bible, the beginning would be unparalleled to anything read before. There would be little mentioned in the middle and the book of Revelation would simply say, "Well, there ya go!"
Daybook time is just about over and then we will move on to reading The Winter of Red Snow - the Revolutionary War Diary of Abigail Jane Stewart. From there, we will move onto the poetry and biography of Phyllis Wheatley. The African American Slave who was well known for her poetry during the Revolutionary War period. The kids have to memorize one of her poems this week.
Talk to you soon.
I am trying to get my head on straight with so many things going on....little things that are hidden in details and often forgettable. Writing lists only helps if one remembers to check the list, or remembers to put the list in a prominent place. As much as i try to plan my life ahead of the waves, i am forever just barely making it over before it all comes crashing in. I think my life revolves around the 24 hours prior. Ideas, schedules, agendas begin a fabulous genesis in my mind with great advancement. If i were in charge of writing the 66 books of the bible, the beginning would be unparalleled to anything read before. There would be little mentioned in the middle and the book of Revelation would simply say, "Well, there ya go!"
Daybook time is just about over and then we will move on to reading The Winter of Red Snow - the Revolutionary War Diary of Abigail Jane Stewart. From there, we will move onto the poetry and biography of Phyllis Wheatley. The African American Slave who was well known for her poetry during the Revolutionary War period. The kids have to memorize one of her poems this week.
Talk to you soon.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Daybook TIme
I sit in this sunny corner of my room. Simon has once again been assigned the music and we are listening to B-52s - PLANET CLAIRE. It is hard not to bop around while typing. We are beginning an official week of school. the last two weeks have been rather sporadic with field trips, family matters and a trip out to California. So, the four of us ist in this sound filled environment, writing away.
We continue on our study of the Revolutionary War. I am trying to figure out where i can stop - but there is so much intriguing information. I would like to be done by late spring so that we may begin the Civil War. But I also have the War of 1812 to squeeze in. As I think out loud, i think that one year (such as this year) we will concentrate on American Wars and the following we will concentrate on explorers and inventors - within the same time frame. There is a world awaiting for us with Lewis and Clark.
All three seem to be committed to working through a home school environment for another year. When I tell my husband this, he supports the idea; but if i told him that i am taking the kids back to school and i will be going backto teaching, he would support that as well - as well as the idea of me playing tennis and eating ice cream every day.
One of my favorite B-52 songs is coming on. I need to gel and listen.
"Roll it over it your mind. Why don't you dance with me; i'm not no linberger. Why don't dance with me...i'm not no linberger. Just a linberger. Just a linberger. Dance this mess around. Dance this mess around. Everybody goes to parties, they dance this messa round. They do all 16 dances. They do the cookaloo - they do the shy tuna. They do the camel walk. They do the hypocrit. Hippy hippy boy hippy hippy shake." Okay, enough of that.
We continue on our study of the Revolutionary War. I am trying to figure out where i can stop - but there is so much intriguing information. I would like to be done by late spring so that we may begin the Civil War. But I also have the War of 1812 to squeeze in. As I think out loud, i think that one year (such as this year) we will concentrate on American Wars and the following we will concentrate on explorers and inventors - within the same time frame. There is a world awaiting for us with Lewis and Clark.
All three seem to be committed to working through a home school environment for another year. When I tell my husband this, he supports the idea; but if i told him that i am taking the kids back to school and i will be going backto teaching, he would support that as well - as well as the idea of me playing tennis and eating ice cream every day.
One of my favorite B-52 songs is coming on. I need to gel and listen.
"Roll it over it your mind. Why don't you dance with me; i'm not no linberger. Why don't dance with me...i'm not no linberger. Just a linberger. Just a linberger. Dance this mess around. Dance this mess around. Everybody goes to parties, they dance this messa round. They do all 16 dances. They do the cookaloo - they do the shy tuna. They do the camel walk. They do the hypocrit. Hippy hippy boy hippy hippy shake." Okay, enough of that.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Randomness
Daybook Log
Today is Perry's day to pick the music. In keeping with Perry's personality, he contemplated and complained and decided to hit the random button. Perry; the random soul. We listened to Seal first and now there is some artist that i don't recognize. It might be Sinead; but i am not sure, maybe Allison Kraus. Hmmm.
This morning, I woke up at 8am and all three children were joyfully approaching me, saying they are half way done with their schoool work. Perry and Simon had been up since 6am. We are currently looking at 10:30 in the morning and we have one last item to attend to and the day is free.
Snuggle Time:
Sometimes I dread this time. I am not a person who can relax during the day. When 8:00 or 9:00 at night rolls around; then i can relax. So, to make time to sit on my bed and snuggle, or talk or play with stuffed animals takes a lot out of me. This time seems different to me than regular play time. Maybe because it is an "organized" amount of time to relax. It just gets to me - although, i know it is the kids' favorite part of their day.
Perry: this morning for snuggle time, Perry shared with me his valentine he made for me and then he wanted to show me how he can make his bed into something really comfy. "I don't know how i have the talent for making comfy beds, but i really know how to make them well. I even know how to make it without getting wrinkles in it. i will teach you."
Lucy: Lucy's time this morning consisted of getting out the book of questions. One question was, "Who drives you crazy?" she responded that her brother Perry drives her crazy. "Perry drives me crazy because of all the funny-ness he does! WHAT? He really does!"
Last sentence of the day:
When i am given the time to relax -and it is etched out for me - why do i complain? AND, why do I complain throughout the day that I don't have enough time?
Today is Perry's day to pick the music. In keeping with Perry's personality, he contemplated and complained and decided to hit the random button. Perry; the random soul. We listened to Seal first and now there is some artist that i don't recognize. It might be Sinead; but i am not sure, maybe Allison Kraus. Hmmm.
This morning, I woke up at 8am and all three children were joyfully approaching me, saying they are half way done with their schoool work. Perry and Simon had been up since 6am. We are currently looking at 10:30 in the morning and we have one last item to attend to and the day is free.
Snuggle Time:
Sometimes I dread this time. I am not a person who can relax during the day. When 8:00 or 9:00 at night rolls around; then i can relax. So, to make time to sit on my bed and snuggle, or talk or play with stuffed animals takes a lot out of me. This time seems different to me than regular play time. Maybe because it is an "organized" amount of time to relax. It just gets to me - although, i know it is the kids' favorite part of their day.
Perry: this morning for snuggle time, Perry shared with me his valentine he made for me and then he wanted to show me how he can make his bed into something really comfy. "I don't know how i have the talent for making comfy beds, but i really know how to make them well. I even know how to make it without getting wrinkles in it. i will teach you."
Lucy: Lucy's time this morning consisted of getting out the book of questions. One question was, "Who drives you crazy?" she responded that her brother Perry drives her crazy. "Perry drives me crazy because of all the funny-ness he does! WHAT? He really does!"
Last sentence of the day:
When i am given the time to relax -and it is etched out for me - why do i complain? AND, why do I complain throughout the day that I don't have enough time?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Daybook Log #4
So - today is lucy's day to pick out the music for daybook and she has chosen her first introductory piano book CD. It is quite jazzy and upbeat; "Will you play some black keys, loudly please?" It is very funny.
This morning, we continued our study of George Frideric Handel. I *think* the kids are enjoying this. We listened to a CD that told all about his life as a musician and had samples of his music. Lucy and Simon danced around for a while and sang along with the Messiah.
So, again, whatever they get out of this, I am pleased because I know they would not be getting this in school. I have butcher paper on the wall with four three blocked off sections of Bach, Handel and Vivaldi. The kids remarked today that George's father wasn't into music as much as Bach's father was and that Bach and Handel were born in the same year as well as noting the different instruments that each composer learned at a young age.
Anyway, this is where my passion is - watching my children learn. Seeing information they have acquired come out in day to day conversation. Simon even made a parallel with a princess during Handels time marrying King George III - a king during the time of the Revolutionary War period (it was not the same princess; but the point is that he is making connections with names and events).
Today, we will continue with a chemistry experiment as well as math and then this afternoon, Lucy and Simon have Book Club.
Oh - i have to quickly put this in. Yesterday we delivered food for the food shelf to a man named, Patrick. The kids were there to help and this man couldn't have been more thankful. It was exceptional for the kids to experience how they can change or add to the goodness of the world.
Life is going well.
Enjoy the day.
This morning, we continued our study of George Frideric Handel. I *think* the kids are enjoying this. We listened to a CD that told all about his life as a musician and had samples of his music. Lucy and Simon danced around for a while and sang along with the Messiah.
So, again, whatever they get out of this, I am pleased because I know they would not be getting this in school. I have butcher paper on the wall with four three blocked off sections of Bach, Handel and Vivaldi. The kids remarked today that George's father wasn't into music as much as Bach's father was and that Bach and Handel were born in the same year as well as noting the different instruments that each composer learned at a young age.
Anyway, this is where my passion is - watching my children learn. Seeing information they have acquired come out in day to day conversation. Simon even made a parallel with a princess during Handels time marrying King George III - a king during the time of the Revolutionary War period (it was not the same princess; but the point is that he is making connections with names and events).
Today, we will continue with a chemistry experiment as well as math and then this afternoon, Lucy and Simon have Book Club.
Oh - i have to quickly put this in. Yesterday we delivered food for the food shelf to a man named, Patrick. The kids were there to help and this man couldn't have been more thankful. It was exceptional for the kids to experience how they can change or add to the goodness of the world.
Life is going well.
Enjoy the day.
Monday, February 4, 2008
DAYBOOK LOG # 3
Perry picked the music today "Classic Relaxation with Mozart." Currently, it is lightly snowing. The trees are sporting their new snow frosted outfits :)
In an hour or so, we will head out to Chanhassen to the Feed My Starving Children Facility www.fmsc.org . The kids and I will package food up to be sent off to a selected third world country. You Tube had some pretty cool video on people's experiences at FMSC as well as videos that really captured the essence of world hunger. I feel that with each block I lay upon the other, my children *should* be receiving an idea of what it is to be a loving and caring individual.
I am trying to think back to my own childhood experiences. I know that my family was on the receiving end, quite often, of charitable donations from our church. We were the "family of the month" at times tha t the congregation supported. I can't say that I remember a lot of times that we gave back. I can be wrong; but nothing currently stands out.
I remember my mother taking in people who needed a place to stay - typically young collegues from the school she taught at; PE Coach, 7th grade teacher, i think another PE coach. I can't remember. For a while, we always had some young adult living with us - perhaps my mom collected rent from them; i am not sure. Again, questions i need answered.
Two more minutes of daybook time. The kids are all engaged. I look forward to this time.
In an hour or so, we will head out to Chanhassen to the Feed My Starving Children Facility www.fmsc.org . The kids and I will package food up to be sent off to a selected third world country. You Tube had some pretty cool video on people's experiences at FMSC as well as videos that really captured the essence of world hunger. I feel that with each block I lay upon the other, my children *should* be receiving an idea of what it is to be a loving and caring individual.
I am trying to think back to my own childhood experiences. I know that my family was on the receiving end, quite often, of charitable donations from our church. We were the "family of the month" at times tha t the congregation supported. I can't say that I remember a lot of times that we gave back. I can be wrong; but nothing currently stands out.
I remember my mother taking in people who needed a place to stay - typically young collegues from the school she taught at; PE Coach, 7th grade teacher, i think another PE coach. I can't remember. For a while, we always had some young adult living with us - perhaps my mom collected rent from them; i am not sure. Again, questions i need answered.
Two more minutes of daybook time. The kids are all engaged. I look forward to this time.
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