It's Quiet Now...and what it brings is everything

The airliner above begins to descend into the Minneapolis Airport. A child breaks the silence with her dry cough. The coffee steams to the left. I sit in the furthest corner of this house, distinctly surrounded by windows. Both hands comb through this head of hair, expecting inspiration.


The plane will land and passengers will scatter with significant momentum.


What is my significant momentum?


Life is relative. This is a boring sentence and excusable at times, but undeniably true. It is hard to focus and yet, your conscience knows the steps in front of you. Life takes a claim on you - scooping you up in its timely breeze. Each of us with our own story - looking to our beginning as we struggle and strive to find our end.

Sometimes you fight the ride and your heart beats with yearning. However, and far too often, we let tomorrow gain speed on us and simply wait in compliance.


Another airliner passes over head. Passengers will soon be told to adjust their seat trays and sit in the upright position.


My 'lost in the moment' presence finds me where it always is...what i know...mothering to four. The children are physically and emotionally scattered...consequently, so is their mother. Each demonstrate with patience, a weighty intention.


My oldest is struggling. Perry is struggling; or is it me? As I cuddle and rock the 14th month old and read Miss Spider's something or other, I sense the shift in scale. It is Perry's time. He is the tilting the scale and my efforts are falling short. Not seeing a solution to balance.


A scratch of the head, a readjustment on the chair and another sip of coffee - now luke warm.


We are at the screaming genesis of teenage-dom, but i must address the questionable caveat. Perry enters into this realm with an irrefutable strength of character. He is already 'heard' in this family. What is the process? The world turns his axis on end and he does not have the humility or ability to accept the change.

Another evening flight is heard overhead. Passengers shift, look through their bags, check their surroundings, gather belonging and garnish energy to begin.

I recently told a friend, "I'm through with Perry." She replied something to the affect, "I didn't know we had those cards. Can you give me your 'I'm through with you' card when you are done?"

My body responds- kinked neck, tense back, exhausted evenings.


The airliner makes it's decent - the fourth one this evening. Each passenger takes a deep breath, unbuckles their belts and disembarks from the journey.


Lost in this moment. Focused on this moment. Looking for balance.

Thanks for listening

Sporadic Change

My mood is sporadic.

I do not envision a coming nor a going and interruptions of time, life, mood, thought and will, snake in to slither about...taunting.

Marking your territory, you slip...a momentary hand grabs within your clutch and brings you back ; but alas, it is only temporary. A simple moment of composure and it's gone until another day.

continued existence in balanced vibration

lost in the shuffle

awaiting once more for the hand ....