Changing Shapes

We laughed today as I asked, "Why would you want to know if my laundry smells because it has stayed in the machine too long?"  


Changing shapes into something mundane and humdrum


Today marks 10 months

I have allowed myself to be tangled within her world.  To be taken down into the depths of her despair as well as be there when there was a small glimmer of light and hope to her day.  She has stood strong and steadfast on her own terms, "I need to grieve, i want to grieve.  If this is too hard, I understand."

At times her heart and soul were like putty in my hands, but more often, she has glued herself back together innumerable times completely on her own.

We have acknowledged and analyzed this relationship that started with an electric jump and demanded that we find purpose in this quasi parallel journey.

And..... we have vowed to always be honest.  Blatantly honest.


Last month, my cup runneth over with more devastating news.  I retreated within myself.  I excused my absence.  At the end of the day, a gallon of paint and a smile were not going to fix this one.  My anger presented itself in silence and seeking.

In changing shapes, we look to the other - naive presence at times, asking to break these waves with something new. Something building.  The ground markings have been there; now it is up to us to keep up in it's definition.

We are building a new friendship through all this.  A friendship in definition.  A, "Hey, whatsa doin'?" simple question commitment.

The pathway in finding the other has been extraordinary.  The dance of friendship in a complete sense has not been experienced and I am excited at the prospect.  We are changing shapes.

I know of her struggles. I know of her desire for blue skies.  I know her tears. Her resignation.  I know her strength.  I know her need for purpose.

In today's 10 month marker, we went out to lunch.  a deliberate conversation that wrapped the other in love, humor, future engagements.

10 months today.  looking back.  looking ahead.  remembering. planning. smiling and not forgetting.

Thanks for listening.