Never Thought I'd See the Day

Blogging is trivial; i stand corrected....MY blogging is trivial. I have mentioned this before and I am mentioning it again. It is mundane and it keynotes day to day dribble from mind to monitor. I am keenly (or like to think that I am) aware of my world; it's troubles, it's woes, it's dispairs, and ironically, it's triumphs.

However, with that said....

My son has a milk allergy.

What does that mean? Well, in essence, it means that he can not be exposed to any milk protein from a cow. What else does that mean??? NO MORE REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS for mom!!!!

Now, talk about significant times??? I say this within the jester of the moment ---i am a sarcastic being.

So, no more chocolate (milk chocolate), no more caramel rolls from the store, no more cream in my coffee - at least the cream that I like!, no more cheese (this will hurt), no more REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!

20 YEARS

I will someday remind myself to write a substantial entry in sweet reflection of 20 years together with the man I married. We met on this date in 1989. Last night, as we ran a couple of errands together (with the baby...quiet baby), we thought it apropos to grab a quick coffee and take a slow drive around the lakes. The moment seemed ideal. Our older kids were at home and in bed and the youngest of our offspring was quietly asleep.

We parked, I went in the storefront and grabbed our coffees. Upon approaching the car, I heard the evening's distraction. Of course, the cries increased in sound once the door was opened.

My 20 year mate and I decided to forge ahead and go on as planned with a minor stop to feed what seemed to be the hungry child. We stopped, I unbuckled and brought the infant to the front seat. it soon became clear that the baby with smiles was not hungry but only had intention of 'joining' us for our evening of 'Us.'

Legs set in jumping motion, voice set in squealing song, eyes alert with excited anticipation on what was to be shared next. My husband took in the scene with a sip of coffee and a question of , "Aren't you sleepy?" The squeaked response said enough. No.

Setting him back in car seat, arming him with arsenal of toys, i buckled myself in the front seat. 50 feet into driving, 50 feet into beginning of adult conversation, 50 feet of one half sip of coffee, baby begins to sound off. His amplitude of sound increases with each raise of the radio volume (classical music of course). As intelligent beings, we assumed this would die off. We assumed he would tire himself out. In time, we realized, we assumed wrong.

We pulled over, i put my coffee cup in place and buckled up in the back seat. The baby smiled at my appearance but continued to show his disfavor of his placement. The decision was made to take the quickest route home -- turn right (off the lake pathway) and make all the green lights.

My coffee was 1/2 full and cold as we pulled into the driveway. Baby was taken out of his car seat, changed into pajamas, put in crib and less than 5 minutes, was quietly at rest.

This is the culmination of 20 years together.

We will try again tonight.

Time is Circuitous

I don't have much to say this morning; but the time is presenting itself and I must take advantage. Presently, Lucy is learning her state capitals, Simon is quizzing himself on a book, Sidney is asleep and Perry is in Science class.

I observe time; my time, time around, the wavering elements of it's beauty. In quiet contemplation, i reach back within it's continuum; and it's space within.

The markings of who we are and to whom we shall become, perform within this expression of time; each second marking it's permanence upon us within its fleeting moments.

One word, one suggestion, one body movement, etches with indelible marks; creating, masking, hurting, seeping, building upon the other.

I see this time affect on my children as they grow. As they grow and experience each step that leads to conclusion. I look to the past and reflect upon my own life, my own time as a young girl, a naive teen, a curious adult. I am a director of time. I am a conductor to it's orchestral ensemble and in reflection, begin to think of my children's time.

the 12 year old expands within his world and as he enters the teenage continuum, we see a repetition of time. The vocabulary is the same, the tears are the same, the confusion is the same. The time that 'once was' is now apart of a family's dialogue. How will Time ease it's presence into the 12 year old existence. What will this time bring within later journeys - strength? character? darkness? confusion? understanding? Only Time will tell.

Thanks for listening

Through Weary Eyes

I sit ---this is uncommon. Within interludes of reality, i tame the Hellion that chortles and churns within. With each extended breath, I am able to keep it's desires at bay; but with spontaneous momentum, it seeps out without warning; surprising the most innocent of us all.

I sit with a moment of quiet to my day. A moment, like this is all it takes: eyes through nature, sensuous smells of Fall, tickling wind around. An influential period to my day to capture a piece of the quiet me

Ordinary Days

The last couple of postings, i have documented my days; My days as a mother of 4. This morning, I am quietly observing a rare moment of ordinary focus.

Sitting on one of two leather chairs in our living room; lap top resting on my legs and checking email. Simon and Lucy sitting on their father's lap, who sits in the twin leather chair to my right; laughing and giggling over the silliness of their daddy. Sidney down below chewing on a fluffy toy, kicking his feet,rolling around and being laughed at as he rolls onto the wood floor and off of his green polka dotted blanket. Occasionally, he looks up to his siblings, gurgles out his dolcet song and once again, finds enticement with his 4 legged furry friend.

The oldest boy, recognizing it is Labor Day, has not made a sound. He is up, but enjoying the independent moments of solitude and quiet his downstairs room offers.

The clock is ticking just a little bit slower this morning, the sun has taken it's time in rising to it's day. My children revel in their father's presence and I take it all in with another sip of coffee.

Soon, I will be compelled to sit up a little straighter, close the lap top and in top drill Sergeant fashion, I will ask what the plans are of the day. By days end, things will need to be checked off the lists, materials will need to be in order and I will find rest with satisfied conclusion.

Time has shifted. Simon is at the bar eating breakfast. Lucy is still nestled within her daddy's arms, and the 6 month old is battling with the green polka dotted blanket -- reasoning out the blankets 'consumable factor.' Every now and again, his gurggles get louder as he gets lost wtihin the blanket that covers his head. There is still no sound from the depths of the pre-teen room.

I close my lap top, take in my surroundings. It is time for me to enjoy the quiet. Another cup of coffee, some solitude on my deck with quiet reflection. the day will be picking up speed and i will become lost within translastion.

Stop.