And They Lived Happily Ever After.....The.....End

I have taken it all in and therefore, my mind has grown from the experience; Europe ignited my senses.

I sit, weary with heavy eyes, wondering if i am capable of completing the next sentence, but drawn to finish off this last chapter.

Yesterday, I sat in a coffee shop in Iceland. Today, I sit at the head of the dining table in my existence of home.

PARIS: She takes the role of the oldest sibling; confident, serious, respected, scholarly and reliable. We arrived in Paris with a desire to learn from her and she did not disappoint.
Random Mind Spree: gelato, Seine, walking, narrow streets, crepes, smile on children, espresso, chocolate croissants, writing, naive, clarity, parks, untouchable, cuisine, architecture, family - cousins reunite.

STRASBOURG: The grandfather who quietly sits in the corner, listening to the conversation filling the room, but lost in memory of times past. Strasbourg has seen it all, and without pretense, unobtrusively immerses you within the experience. Telling a remarkable story, if willing to listen. Strasbourg is wise, unassuming, and solid.
Random Mind Spree: Napoleon, Emperor with no shoes, writing on steps of the cathedral, building with green windows, finding hat for Simon, Martin Luther, Reconstruction, reminds me of The Giving Tree, two hotel rooms, john and I have an evening alone with kids next door (sid with us), high school students 'hanging out' after class on Cathedral steps.

GUNZBURG: This is the crazy relative that no one really mentions, but kids have connection. Nobody visits Gunzberg unless they are out of gas, lost, on the verge of a mental breakdown, or have an inkling to visit Legoland! Unfortunately, Gunzburg is also the birth place of Dr. Joseph Mengele : chief medical officer in Auschwitz.
Random Mind Spree: Legoland, Legoland, Legoland. First beer in Germany at food stand in the "Pirate" themed section of park. 10am to 6pm. Kids saw it all. tacky hotel. Bad breakfast. 80's music playing on speakers all night long.

FUSSEN: The emulated relative no one really knows, but craves conversation, appreciating and identifying a gain within relationship.
Random Mind Spree: Alps, Neuschwanstein, Mary's Gorge, Hike up to Castle holding Sidney, drinking beer, talking to john, feet up on deck, sweatshirt, view, swimming pool, lake, Seespitz hat for john, "He's the boss!", Bavarian dress, trying to find Kul Kaffe, buying Sidney's backpack for Iceland trip, would have come in handy during hike (sans stroller) up mountain the day earlier.

FRANKFURT: We really did not see much of Frankfurt, as we were just outside in city called Kronberg - my sister lives in Kronberg. An etch in time with family. Visiting with cousins and sister. We went to the zoo in Kronberg one day and then rode the train the next day into downtown Frankurt for ice cream, shopping and World Cup viewing.
Randon Mind Spree: swimming, chandeliers, marble stairs, baby Sidney, birthday cake, trampoline, lots of laundry, hotel down the street for John, Sidney and I, Frankfurt Airport, Europcar and gas.

ICELAND: The uber cool teenager, content, grateful, talented, unique. Iceland impacted my senses and complicated my views.
Random Mind Spree: GPS Unit, roundabouts, rock, moss, waterfall, vikings, laws, hiking, cool, sun not setting, expensive, trying to reason.

We are now home, we are all in bed, the chapter to this book is now coming to a close and as we turn to the very last page, the author pauses with intended significance and slowly puts forth the sentence all desire to hear, "And they all lived happily ever after."

Thanks for listening.

It's Quiet Now...and what it brings is everything

The airliner above begins to descend into the Minneapolis Airport. A child breaks the silence with her dry cough. The coffee steams to the left. I sit in the furthest corner of this house, distinctly surrounded by windows. Both hands comb through this head of hair, expecting inspiration.


The plane will land and passengers will scatter with significant momentum.


What is my significant momentum?


Life is relative. This is a boring sentence and excusable at times, but undeniably true. It is hard to focus and yet, your conscience knows the steps in front of you. Life takes a claim on you - scooping you up in its timely breeze. Each of us with our own story - looking to our beginning as we struggle and strive to find our end.

Sometimes you fight the ride and your heart beats with yearning. However, and far too often, we let tomorrow gain speed on us and simply wait in compliance.


Another airliner passes over head. Passengers will soon be told to adjust their seat trays and sit in the upright position.


My 'lost in the moment' presence finds me where it always is...what i know...mothering to four. The children are physically and emotionally scattered...consequently, so is their mother. Each demonstrate with patience, a weighty intention.


My oldest is struggling. Perry is struggling; or is it me? As I cuddle and rock the 14th month old and read Miss Spider's something or other, I sense the shift in scale. It is Perry's time. He is the tilting the scale and my efforts are falling short. Not seeing a solution to balance.


A scratch of the head, a readjustment on the chair and another sip of coffee - now luke warm.


We are at the screaming genesis of teenage-dom, but i must address the questionable caveat. Perry enters into this realm with an irrefutable strength of character. He is already 'heard' in this family. What is the process? The world turns his axis on end and he does not have the humility or ability to accept the change.

Another evening flight is heard overhead. Passengers shift, look through their bags, check their surroundings, gather belonging and garnish energy to begin.

I recently told a friend, "I'm through with Perry." She replied something to the affect, "I didn't know we had those cards. Can you give me your 'I'm through with you' card when you are done?"

My body responds- kinked neck, tense back, exhausted evenings.


The airliner makes it's decent - the fourth one this evening. Each passenger takes a deep breath, unbuckles their belts and disembarks from the journey.


Lost in this moment. Focused on this moment. Looking for balance.

Thanks for listening

Normal Post

I thought i would actually prove to people i can write in normal sentences and tell about life's mundane structure.....mundane is simply fine.

So, as a mother of 4 that blogs; i thought i would do what every mother is proud to do -- brag about her children as they play out in the day to day

Perry: Has discovered his way -- meaning, he has figured out his system and how to manipulate it well. To reiterate; Perry's nickname as a toddler was "Le Saboteur" as he would sum up the situation and figure out a way to get what he wanted. I often thought this talent would lead him into a court room as a defense lawyer...but he has too many other talents in need of addressing and perfecting. I digress: perry's grades have slipped this quarter - he is currently at a 3.5 gpa (yes, this is still great), but knowing Perry and what he is capable of, he clearly had a control over his 3.5 gpa this quarter. He knew full well what he was up against and consciously made decisions. I don't think i had this forethought at his age, nor the guts to call my own shots like he has done all through this life. The toughest job I have in all this is not directing him down the correct pathway (he already has that), I need to encourage him to make it to where he needs to be and not be happy with the park bench that sits in the middle -- this always brings me question.

Simon: This middle son of mine has a maturity and an emotional IQ I can not touch. He is .... he is a living declaration of how God makes us all so unique and gifted. I believe because of this; life is harder for him than his older, more solid brother. He and I are connected through our personality, or grip of sarcasm and slanted takes on life. I share in laughter with him every day...every single day. This is how we bond.... and I hope this will not also cause division in us when he is older and trying to find his way. I am not sure he knows which path to take, for each one will have it's advantages, it alluring details and he will want to attemp to fill in the connected gaps. At 11 years of age, he holds a multi leveled view on life. I am in awe.

Lucy: Lucy is her Daddy's clone. It is fun to see this little 8 year old mimic her older counterpart in so many fashions. Of course, her social abilities are stronger than her father's; but her meticulous nature, her passion for detail, her exquisite choice of word, and her calmness of plan are simply his. She is venturing out of her skin each summer and I am in anticipation to see what these months of sun and warmth will bring. She is of strong character and has been the second she took her first breath -- solid in who she is, her expectations of herself, and her self actualized needs. Again, at this age, i'm sure i was barely aware if my shoes were on the right feet. Lucy exhibits a control over her person that is really cool to see. Of course, she loses it from time to time and spouts off as any growing 8 year old will do. Again -- she is my third child and with the other two, I revel in the thought of her future.

Sidney: the boy is learning to walk!! If i were to measure my accomplishments this past year, the list would be relatively short and honestly, boring. On the contrary, Sidney's list would be one of standing ovation. To name a few: Roll over, hold his head up, sit up, crawl, grab, eat solid foods, understand his name, detach to become slightly more of independent means, communicate his wants, and find his laugh. He continually brings attention to himself and strangers stop to connect with this blond haired babe (not me)! He has felt his first tree branch, his bare feet have walked on grass, felt cool breezes on his face and he has squinted his eyes due to the bright sun. He is our littlest one but has required that we all out forth just a bit more energy into our lives. Energy into him. he is the apex of this family.

thanks for listening to this average mom's take on her children