The Road Less Traveled

The journey is treacherous, betraying, unreliable, enduring and flat out hard. All experts have written on the tiresome subject, all authors have enticed us with their glutinous verbiage of guilt, and all parents travel closely behind; watching the unraveling of the road as their teenager takes step after step after step - finding placement within their adult and independent world.

The 19th month old seeks within unmarred ground. The vision is narrowed, the feats are remarkable, yet simple, and each step, albeit numerable in comparison, comes equipped with an iron clad safety net.

The 13 year old hasn't a clue! (I had to put this in - as it is the truth)

Pathing and marking his way, 13 years of experience arm him with little. He was once able to toddle around in the open waters - knee deep, secure in his findings and life was complicated, but easily predictable. He is now out among them, and the water is deeper than he; even though he is a centimeter taller than his own mother, and he is expected to take all the knowledge from his playful days and make sense of it all. It is close to impossible. As parents, we still have the rope around his waste, standing and waiting, preparing for that time when he truly needs our help --- but for now, he continues, on his own. Off he travels.

Our relationship is altered, and still respected with this 13 year old.

Last night, he and his younger brother were playing a card game. Younger brother taunts older brother - older brother gets mad and tears up game sheets that younger brother holds dear to his heart.

"He made me tear them up! I do not owe him anything!"

All were there in this 'court of responsibility' discussion; late into the evening hours. The discussion no longer follows the guise of 'both of you say you're sorry, hug each other and go off and play nicely together.' Whatever brought this effortless moment of anger to fruition was not key to discussion. The moment of the act, the ownership of choice of the act and the responsibility in afterthought were the key players in conversation.

"He made me tear them up. I will not pay out any money. I do not owe him anything. Not even an apology!"

Adulthood, independence, maturity, growing up, responsibility, trustworthiness, dependability, value, choices, and character were all mapped out within the circuitous dialogue.

There was no resolve to the evening. Ultimately, it is up to him. No longer are we holding his hand - but trying to put our trust in his decision. We are there with firm words, guidelines, and strong, strong, suggestions, but, this journey is his. His road, his time, his moment to show the character of whom he is and what path he is choosing to walk.

Thanks for listening.