13 years ago....I was teaching half time, my husband worked out of a cubicle, and our home had barely seen the transformation it has today. I was a young mother to Perry. My days were spent learning and transforming myself into his 'mom-mom.' This was, unfortunately, met with much resentment, as I fought daily between my old/new self. Our lives quickly transpired from one child to three in a short smattering of time. I was barely educated enough to have one child and in quick revelations, I had three car seats and a van. As the house transformed, so did our lives, our careers, our outlooks, and our perspectives. I was no longer resentful and my head was in the game. Mothering was to be a serious commitment and not to be taken lightly. My stepping stone children were either going to thrive or falter under my guidance...it was a heavy load to bare (and still is in present day).
16 months ago....I was homeschooling my children, my husband was building a new kind of office and our home lived through the noise of nailing 2 x 4s, drilling, cementing, knocking down, and adding on. I am aging through this mothering process but my vision is not as muddled as it was when I was young.
This week, I have had the experience of being a single mother to a single baby. The other three have been away and will be returning sometime tomorrow afternoon. I have enjoyed without drudgery, I have experienced without resentment, I have laughed and lifted and twirled without force. I think back to when it was just Perry and me and i wonder, "What was all the drama about? How hard would it have been to enjoy it? Why did those years slip into the next without the attention and examination that is clearly present today?"
hmmm. No closing, simply examination.
Thanks for listening.
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