Birthdays are for Kids

Happy Birthday Gift from john. He said he told the camera sales man - "She has a creative eye, she now needs a creative camera."

Remembering back on birthdays, rarely do i recall my 22nd or my 33rd or my 38th for that matter. If anything on those birthdays were significant, it was because my husband put his best foot forward to make it memorable and beautiful and I am most certain that given time, I could write about inspired ways my birthday was celebrated. But, when i think of birthdays past, my brain overflows with visuals: hallways decorated, special breakfast, Spaghetti Factory ("How many in your pawty---she always meant to say party, but as a collective family we laughed, mimicking her and saying potty, instead), birthday parties, slumber parties, grandma and grandpa coming to the house for dinner, early morning calls from my aunt dennie. The days leading up were always teeming with anticipation...counting down on calendars, requesting cakes and dinner ideas, knowing that on the school intercom, my birthday would be announced on that special of all special days, birthday treats were brought to class. It belonged to me and all involved circled around within that energy.

Today, as much as i would like to hold on to those treasured days, i simply can't. My birthday no longer belongs to me. The excitement and celebration has trickled down to where it should.....down to my kids; because they are the intended audience. The all inclusive birthday includes the same countdown (not by me, the kids) and the same eagerness to wake up in the morning for participation in celebration.

Our tradition - set in motion many years ago: wake up on bday morning and have daddy make us breakfast. The collective favorite is Eggs Benedict and french toast. Because of his schedule, we have held our bday breakfast at 6am on some occasions; but we did it!! After, we open gifts. The excitement in this, again, transfers to the kids. I would be amiss if i did not meet the gleam of anticipation in their eyes as i tore open the paper and package.

My birthday was wonderful - but aside from breakfast and gifts, the day waned and it was now the kids day. "What are WE going to do today, Mom?" "Mom, do you want to play Wii on your birthday? You can pick out any game you want." "Mom, do you want to go out to lunch today on your birthday....maybe Subway?" "Mom, can we play legos all day? It IS your birthday, after all." "Mom, what are we going to have for your birthday dinner? Can we have tortellini soup? Hey, wait, you can't have that because of the cheese....maybe you and dad can have something special instead" (and that is exactly what happened).

As much as I would have liked to scream and shout (okay, i did scream and shout a bit...but it was my birthday) that it is MY day and in honesty, a day that i can SELFISHLY call my own, it just doesn't happen anymore.

The gifts of what have you - spa, day alone, coffee date, new clothes, etc, doesn't begin to compare to what a mom (well, THIS mom) would truly desire....a DAY. a simple DAY to frolic in the bountifulness that is Katie. Not mom....I was born, Katie. I understand this is the life God intended for me before I even filled my lungs with the first gulp of air, and a live fully within all his gifts - but i am me.

My birthday was memorable and i was surrounded by people who love me. i am lucky. it's just nice to celebrate katie from time to time. I miss her.