Yesterday afternoon, I was cleaning up our home mudroom. It wasn't anything horrific - an easy pick up and then mopping of the floors. The 14 year old comes down and in exasperation, states, 'Don't clean this up, this is what I am going to do for money tomorrow!" I continue on, as I wanted to get it out of the way and i was not in the mood to wait for his when and how. Today, late morning, I am vacuuming up the sunroom - as no one did it yesterday. From the downstairs playroom, he marches on up, opens the door and states, "Don't vacuum this room, this is what I am going to do today to earn money for skiing."
I finish up my job and wait around - as he pranced back downstairs to work on his latest lego design. An hour slips by, I take the liberty of folding the clothes, cleaning up breakfast dishes and dust. 12:00 roles around and he comes back upstairs with his proposed check list of chores for the day. He was a taken aback that many of them were already done.
I quickly call a family meeting -for this whole week as been one excuse after the next as to why the three of them can not do their intended chores. My voice raises as i explain to them the value of budgeting and prove to them that their father doesn't get to go to work on Monday and bring home money Monday evening. Or he doesn't get to go in on Tuesday and decide to work extra hard for just a little bit more cash. I had already instructed that 'pay day' is every other week and they have to budget their money. They look at me as if I was crazy. the 14 year old asks how is he supposed to go skiing tomorrow if he can't earn money today. I told them all that their mother has a compassionate heart and because she does (and because they seem to take advantage of this from time to time), I was willing to let them work today for money for tomorrow.
_______
Music lessons; we have two pianists and one guitarist. 75.00 a week goes out for this privilege. The expectation from teacher and parent is that practice is 5 days a week for 30 minutes. that has been a standard for quite some time. This past week, the dad says, "You have not been practicing. If this is important to you, you will find a way. If you do not find time to practice, you will be paying for your next up coming lesson." Present consequence: the two piano players will need to show up to class tomorrow with 25.00. The 10 year old always has a stash of cash and this didn't' seem to phase her. the 12 year old needs to figure out a way to earn 25.00.
----------
After conversation with the kids, I tell them that I am going to go take an hour to myself and jokingly tell them that I was going to go figure out a fool proof plan for chores in this family. We generally discuss what would be a good plan and I leave on a high note with them. We were laughing, I hugged them, told them that I love them and said i would be back in an hour and as i was closing the door behind me, I loudly said, 'Use this time wisely."
------------
3:40pm. I have been home for an hour and a half. the 14 year old has done some chores, but i have not inspected them. When i came home, he was desensitizing all the door handles and when he finished he came to me and said, "When you were gone, i looked on line for high paying chore jobs and cleaning the door handles pays out 5.00." To which i replied, "And who's family did this come from? ... Not yours"
The 12 and 10 year old were happily having lunch. As I conversed with them, I asked lightly, "So, what did you did during this hour to be productive?" "We read." came the unison answer.
3:42: 12 year old and 14 year old are outside with friends and will soon be going to the park. 10 year old is now asking if i can play a game of cards with her.
I told their father this morning that all this is going to rest with him when he gets home. Tonight, we will have a family meeting and one more chore system will be put into place. I have tried way too many and none seem to be successful. any ideas?
ongoing
thanks
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Create A New Post
This is the title on the button I have to press if I want to get to this screen - the one that allows me to type away for all of those 2 readers out in Blogland.
We are venturing onto the 6th day of the new year .... 6 days of trying to live under a new intent. 6 days of reminiscing about the year past, and hoping that the proceeding minutes will deem significant.
A few hours before the ball dropped on Time Square, like many, i silently went through a list of resolutions, potential goals, and desires for the new year. Live simple. Live uncomplicated. Live a life of giving. Live with gratitude.
I write this and the sound in my head is something parallel to the record needle being scratched when stopped mid-song on the turn style (sp). A halt in motion. Teenagers add an unfortunate layer. Simple and Uncomplicated? Ha! Ya, I'd like to see that.
I know as a parent, i should take the back seat and appreciate this time -knowing that everything I am putting into them will intuitively be represented back in adult form. Radiant form. As adults, they will often reflect with colleagues, peers and friends, "Ah, one thing my mom always taught me was...." "My dad was really good at reminding us to....." "The best advice my mom gave me was...."
But still....HA!
No simple lives here and completely complicated. What are they learning?
1. If I want something, I have to work for it.....not over time, but just on the day that I want something. I want 10 dollars to go to the movies, I work for it on that day
2 Once I have achieved what I need, it is time to take a well deserved break
3. If I see someone (mom) doing work that could potentially earn *me* money, i might suggest they take a break until I can get to it when the time works best for me.
4. . My time is *my* time.
5. Someone else's time is still *my* time.
6. To negotiate is a gift
7. The value of the dollar is only a benefit when it is *my* dollar.
Aside conversation on the way home from the orthodontist after 14 year old gets his braces off. He received a congratulatory mylar balloon as well as a king sized Reese's Peanutbuter Cup.
12 year old to 14 year old: "Can I have one of your PB Cups??"
14 year old to 12 year old: "Only if you can pay me 100.00!"
14 year old to me: "Mom, do you want one of these?"
12 year old to 14 year old: "WHAT? Why does mom get one and I don't?"
14 year old to 12 year old: "Because she paid 5000.00 for it!"
12 year old to 14 year old: "Oh."
Husband's response after relaying it to him later that evening: "We really paid $5000.00 for his braces?"
So, as much as I have tried to untangle things over here in western suburbia....it just ain't working. Today, i was in the car more times than i can count and none of it was simple and it was all self-serving to the teenager(s).
But.... i have to end this on a decent note.
I know there are hard days, there are challenging days, there are days where i take one deep breath after the next ---- but I wouldn't trade it. I keep climbing that mountain with these children of mine - but know that each day is a blessing - i get this.
Thanks for listening
We are venturing onto the 6th day of the new year .... 6 days of trying to live under a new intent. 6 days of reminiscing about the year past, and hoping that the proceeding minutes will deem significant.
A few hours before the ball dropped on Time Square, like many, i silently went through a list of resolutions, potential goals, and desires for the new year. Live simple. Live uncomplicated. Live a life of giving. Live with gratitude.
I write this and the sound in my head is something parallel to the record needle being scratched when stopped mid-song on the turn style (sp). A halt in motion. Teenagers add an unfortunate layer. Simple and Uncomplicated? Ha! Ya, I'd like to see that.
I know as a parent, i should take the back seat and appreciate this time -knowing that everything I am putting into them will intuitively be represented back in adult form. Radiant form. As adults, they will often reflect with colleagues, peers and friends, "Ah, one thing my mom always taught me was...." "My dad was really good at reminding us to....." "The best advice my mom gave me was...."
But still....HA!
No simple lives here and completely complicated. What are they learning?
1. If I want something, I have to work for it.....not over time, but just on the day that I want something. I want 10 dollars to go to the movies, I work for it on that day
2 Once I have achieved what I need, it is time to take a well deserved break
3. If I see someone (mom) doing work that could potentially earn *me* money, i might suggest they take a break until I can get to it when the time works best for me.
4. . My time is *my* time.
5. Someone else's time is still *my* time.
6. To negotiate is a gift
7. The value of the dollar is only a benefit when it is *my* dollar.
Aside conversation on the way home from the orthodontist after 14 year old gets his braces off. He received a congratulatory mylar balloon as well as a king sized Reese's Peanutbuter Cup.
12 year old to 14 year old: "Can I have one of your PB Cups??"
14 year old to 12 year old: "Only if you can pay me 100.00!"
14 year old to me: "Mom, do you want one of these?"
12 year old to 14 year old: "WHAT? Why does mom get one and I don't?"
14 year old to 12 year old: "Because she paid 5000.00 for it!"
12 year old to 14 year old: "Oh."
Husband's response after relaying it to him later that evening: "We really paid $5000.00 for his braces?"
So, as much as I have tried to untangle things over here in western suburbia....it just ain't working. Today, i was in the car more times than i can count and none of it was simple and it was all self-serving to the teenager(s).
But.... i have to end this on a decent note.
I know there are hard days, there are challenging days, there are days where i take one deep breath after the next ---- but I wouldn't trade it. I keep climbing that mountain with these children of mine - but know that each day is a blessing - i get this.
Thanks for listening
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Change Part 2
Feet propped up on the couch. Laptop on the appropriated 'lap.' Fingers tapping in frenetic motion. Eyes affixed to white screen. A scratch of the head, a rub of the chin, a partial gaze up and then back. This not only describes my current position, but turning my head slightly to my left, I observe the very same posture and action by my husband. The BBC World News is the focused sound; but eyes remain fixed on occupation.
The iPad rests conveniently to my right and ever so often, it will 'bing,' informing me that it is my turn in Words With Friends. The book I am reading (still), sits to my left. I have two books that I am reading on my iPad, one book downloaded onto my computer and a real live paper book sitting next to me.
I was stating earlier today that I have a heightened sense of technology in our small speck of existence. I have toiled with where my placement is in all this.
My children have balanced lives. Sports, literature, family outings, family dinners, parent involvement, blah, blah, blah. But a pinnacle part in all this is the addition and perhaps dependency on communications via text, entertainment via computerized games, and social interaction throughout this medium. It is just a part of our lives and a fiber of this family. Frequently, after saying goodbye to the boys in the morning, I will text the boys an 'i love you' while they wait for the bus. Or when they are home alone, i can quickly text them an on location update and timeline of my presence at home.
The 30 minute rule will always stand, but i think, now more than months prior, my allowances come with less resistance. There is an attractiveness in discussing technology with your children....mature discussion on hardware, software, 'cool apps,' I even enjoy texting them....i get words that would not normally be easy to say face to face. My 14 year old will sign his texts sometimes with an 'I love you."
The 2 year old - as i have stated before, has used the iPad extensively. He has more apps and more folders than I do. It can not take the place of face to face snuggle time, nor can it be a substitute for learning that comes directly from his parents and siblings --- but Train Apps, PBS Apps, ABC Apps certainly do not hurt, but add to the perspective.
Okay - so, this is my two cents worth.
Thanks for listening.
OH - I almost forgot.....from time to time, we actually play family games. Most often, it is a Wii game, but we do happen to have a collection of the tried and true board game. Today, as i was trying to add some 'balance' to the day, the kids and I played Pictureka. One of Lucy's newest favorites. We played a couple of rounds and then the oldest one squeaked out, "Okay, who's up for Dance Party 3? "
Thanks for listening.
The iPad rests conveniently to my right and ever so often, it will 'bing,' informing me that it is my turn in Words With Friends. The book I am reading (still), sits to my left. I have two books that I am reading on my iPad, one book downloaded onto my computer and a real live paper book sitting next to me.
I was stating earlier today that I have a heightened sense of technology in our small speck of existence. I have toiled with where my placement is in all this.
My children have balanced lives. Sports, literature, family outings, family dinners, parent involvement, blah, blah, blah. But a pinnacle part in all this is the addition and perhaps dependency on communications via text, entertainment via computerized games, and social interaction throughout this medium. It is just a part of our lives and a fiber of this family. Frequently, after saying goodbye to the boys in the morning, I will text the boys an 'i love you' while they wait for the bus. Or when they are home alone, i can quickly text them an on location update and timeline of my presence at home.
The 30 minute rule will always stand, but i think, now more than months prior, my allowances come with less resistance. There is an attractiveness in discussing technology with your children....mature discussion on hardware, software, 'cool apps,' I even enjoy texting them....i get words that would not normally be easy to say face to face. My 14 year old will sign his texts sometimes with an 'I love you."
The 2 year old - as i have stated before, has used the iPad extensively. He has more apps and more folders than I do. It can not take the place of face to face snuggle time, nor can it be a substitute for learning that comes directly from his parents and siblings --- but Train Apps, PBS Apps, ABC Apps certainly do not hurt, but add to the perspective.
Okay - so, this is my two cents worth.
Thanks for listening.
OH - I almost forgot.....from time to time, we actually play family games. Most often, it is a Wii game, but we do happen to have a collection of the tried and true board game. Today, as i was trying to add some 'balance' to the day, the kids and I played Pictureka. One of Lucy's newest favorites. We played a couple of rounds and then the oldest one squeaked out, "Okay, who's up for Dance Party 3? "
Thanks for listening.
The Times are a Changing
The parent in me continuously scrutinizes each second and minute my kids are relating to technology. The standard is 30 minutes of computer/gaming time and that is after your chore is completed. They may also buy an additional 30 minutes with each additional chore. I am the first one to yell: "You are off the computer!" when 30 minutes is up. I am also the first one to say, "No," when there is a repeated request to continue.
We have mp3 players in the ears, we have cell phones texting all day long, we have computers on, music playing, movies on demand and games on the iPad that are in constant swing.
Presently, I have sent all outside and what do I do? I open up my laptop. I check in on Facebook. I log into my 3 separate email accounts, I surf other blogs and I live out the, "Lead by example" model.
I actually have to cut this very short and i will get back to it. The three kids have all trampled back inside. They have entered into the room, pulled out their ear buds and asked if they could go back onto the computer. The oldest one says, 'I am just looking at the online auction for my snowboard." (another story for another time).
I need to go as I have suggested playing a board game. A WHAT? What in the world is a board game, you ask? Tune in later and I will tell you all about it.
Thanks for listening.
We have mp3 players in the ears, we have cell phones texting all day long, we have computers on, music playing, movies on demand and games on the iPad that are in constant swing.
Presently, I have sent all outside and what do I do? I open up my laptop. I check in on Facebook. I log into my 3 separate email accounts, I surf other blogs and I live out the, "Lead by example" model.
I actually have to cut this very short and i will get back to it. The three kids have all trampled back inside. They have entered into the room, pulled out their ear buds and asked if they could go back onto the computer. The oldest one says, 'I am just looking at the online auction for my snowboard." (another story for another time).
I need to go as I have suggested playing a board game. A WHAT? What in the world is a board game, you ask? Tune in later and I will tell you all about it.
Thanks for listening.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Technology Excess
I am not an excessive person by any means. I love that I own one pair of jeans, that I have less than 20 hangers in my closet. I own a few pair of shoes and as much as I would very much like to go out and buy a new funky style of foot decor, I do not, because I hate being excessive. My husband is rather different. While I have a small hanging box organizer for my socks, t-shirts, pants, etc., he reigns over our entire dresser with shirts popping out of the drawers. His closet is full of clothes (granted he works and I am at home...a bit of a difference) and when he runs to the store to 'pick something up' for me, he comes home with 4 bags of 'stuff.'
My husband is also a technology nerd. He is a talented technology nerd. His livelihood depends on the growth and magnitude of technology. With this passion comes his responsibility to equip his wife with the latest and greatest technological asset.... regardless if I need it or not. Sometimes it is really great, but others, I look at him quizzically, as if to ask, "Really?"
Gifts throughout the years -- not in any order
1. PenCam: One of the first usb recordable devices - it took audio and video and was able to play back on computer (way cool) and it was as small as a pen. I used it to dictate notes
2. Palm Smart Phone -- when they were like 600.00. It was one of the first of it's kind. All i wanted was something that would help me keep a running calendar. This was his solution. The young male sale clerk even said to me, "Lady, you don't deserve this phone." I think he was trying to say that if i wanted a calendar, the Hallmark store was just down the block.
As with all his gifts, I have to really take time to learn how to use them properly and take advantage of the provided hardware. I suppose this is good, as I have truly received quite the education and can man my own troubleshooting at times.
3. Tablet PC: This computer's monitor flipped over and down and with a stylus, I was able to write notes on it as if it were paper and then convert the notes to text email them to another person. He bought me this when I began my Master's classes. Again, I taught myself everything there was to know about this computer. It was beyond cool.
4. Netbook: Small and easy travel computer. He bought this for me for Mother's Day so that I had it when we went on our vacation to Europe that summer.
5. Speaking of Mother's Day - one of my first gifts (before perry was even born) was a top of the line breast pump. I thought this was comical - and curious as I opened up this inaugural gift.
6. New Toshiba Computer - this was after a few years with the Tablet. I think i probably complained about this or that and he decided it was time for a new computer
7. Camera - really nice one because I was showing an interest in photography and he knew we would be using it in Europe as well. There have been many cameras throughout the years that have been wrapped and given as gifts.
8. IPAD --- because who doesn't need an IPAD. I certainly did not. But now I have one and truth be told, the 2 year old uses it the most. Presently, the 10 year old has it in her bed as she is playing a hidden picture game. I use it rarely - basically for Words With Friends and Pandora
9. A large computer monitor so that I could have two screens - one on my lap top and the other next to the lap top...this worked very well when doing research and writing papers as my work could go from one screen to the next....this was a birthday gift. Very large box. This is now at the Twins Organization -- recycled to another user.
10. Flat Screen monitor -- far sleeker than the big screen one. This was also very cool and slick and I used it many times simultaneously with my lap top monitor. I have since donated it to Joy and her family as we also got her a family computer to work with the kids.
11. My latest acquisition is a MacBook Air. A very lightweight laptop. I opened this up on Christmas morning, bewildered - as for the day before, John had bought me a new computer battery as my PC laptop died quickly after becoming unplugged. He has since told me that one of the kids will use it down in the newly built family office that he is still trying to finish.
I know there are others - but this gives you the general idea. So, if i sit here and count the active computers that I have at my disposal - I count 4. This is wrong!
1. Netbook: Will be used in the office for one of the kids
2. PC Laptop: Again, will be used for the kids (although, they have their very own computer as well)
3. Ipad: continue Words with Friends and try to find other great uses for it --- but it is a great tool to bring for the kids
4. Mac - i am in the process of converting all documents from PC to this new computer. It has very nice keyboard.
Maybe I should drop hints that I really like socks. These are cheaper, take up less space and there is nothing to learn from them. Now I will be a Mac user and there is much to learn on this. ..... again.
Thanks for listening.
My husband is also a technology nerd. He is a talented technology nerd. His livelihood depends on the growth and magnitude of technology. With this passion comes his responsibility to equip his wife with the latest and greatest technological asset.... regardless if I need it or not. Sometimes it is really great, but others, I look at him quizzically, as if to ask, "Really?"
Gifts throughout the years -- not in any order
1. PenCam: One of the first usb recordable devices - it took audio and video and was able to play back on computer (way cool) and it was as small as a pen. I used it to dictate notes
2. Palm Smart Phone -- when they were like 600.00. It was one of the first of it's kind. All i wanted was something that would help me keep a running calendar. This was his solution. The young male sale clerk even said to me, "Lady, you don't deserve this phone." I think he was trying to say that if i wanted a calendar, the Hallmark store was just down the block.
As with all his gifts, I have to really take time to learn how to use them properly and take advantage of the provided hardware. I suppose this is good, as I have truly received quite the education and can man my own troubleshooting at times.
3. Tablet PC: This computer's monitor flipped over and down and with a stylus, I was able to write notes on it as if it were paper and then convert the notes to text email them to another person. He bought me this when I began my Master's classes. Again, I taught myself everything there was to know about this computer. It was beyond cool.
4. Netbook: Small and easy travel computer. He bought this for me for Mother's Day so that I had it when we went on our vacation to Europe that summer.
5. Speaking of Mother's Day - one of my first gifts (before perry was even born) was a top of the line breast pump. I thought this was comical - and curious as I opened up this inaugural gift.
6. New Toshiba Computer - this was after a few years with the Tablet. I think i probably complained about this or that and he decided it was time for a new computer
7. Camera - really nice one because I was showing an interest in photography and he knew we would be using it in Europe as well. There have been many cameras throughout the years that have been wrapped and given as gifts.
8. IPAD --- because who doesn't need an IPAD. I certainly did not. But now I have one and truth be told, the 2 year old uses it the most. Presently, the 10 year old has it in her bed as she is playing a hidden picture game. I use it rarely - basically for Words With Friends and Pandora
9. A large computer monitor so that I could have two screens - one on my lap top and the other next to the lap top...this worked very well when doing research and writing papers as my work could go from one screen to the next....this was a birthday gift. Very large box. This is now at the Twins Organization -- recycled to another user.
10. Flat Screen monitor -- far sleeker than the big screen one. This was also very cool and slick and I used it many times simultaneously with my lap top monitor. I have since donated it to Joy and her family as we also got her a family computer to work with the kids.
11. My latest acquisition is a MacBook Air. A very lightweight laptop. I opened this up on Christmas morning, bewildered - as for the day before, John had bought me a new computer battery as my PC laptop died quickly after becoming unplugged. He has since told me that one of the kids will use it down in the newly built family office that he is still trying to finish.
I know there are others - but this gives you the general idea. So, if i sit here and count the active computers that I have at my disposal - I count 4. This is wrong!
1. Netbook: Will be used in the office for one of the kids
2. PC Laptop: Again, will be used for the kids (although, they have their very own computer as well)
3. Ipad: continue Words with Friends and try to find other great uses for it --- but it is a great tool to bring for the kids
4. Mac - i am in the process of converting all documents from PC to this new computer. It has very nice keyboard.
Maybe I should drop hints that I really like socks. These are cheaper, take up less space and there is nothing to learn from them. Now I will be a Mac user and there is much to learn on this. ..... again.
Thanks for listening.
Friday, December 23, 2011
A Calming to the Magic
For 14 years, I have played Santa Claus. Well, let's be practical, 12 years? Santa has brought many things throughout the years ---
1. A handmade work bench with Perry and Simon's name on either side and matching worker man aprons (john made this)
2. A pillow case that had a picture of each child sound asleep in the pajamas that they just opened up hours before on Christmas Eve
3. The next book in a sequence that was not even in print yet (even had a different jacket on it)
4. A new family kitten that seemingly appeared out of no where
5. A cell phone that mom and dad were vehemently opposed to
6. Hot Chocolate mugs with picture of each child sound asleep in the pajamas that they just opened up hours before on Christmas Eve.
For the past many years, my oldest has tried to catch Santa.
1. Hiding a note under his covers that said, "If you are real, will you leave a present by my bed for me?" (I am so happy that I found this note that evening. Santa was able to dig up something 'special' during those wee hours of the night
2. Placed a spy system maze of sorts that would trip off an alarm when crossing the red light beam
3. Set up a video camera to video tape the entire evening --- too bad that Cat from a few christmas' ago sat in front of the lens during the arrival of santa....we were able to hear him...just not see him.
Anyway, this year, there really is no "How did he do THAT?" scenario. Lucy is still teetering on whether she believes or not - so Santa is getting her a costumed made desk chair that her aunt in Duluth is making for her. Perry will get his expensive dicso light and simon will get a cool mp3 player that is a little more affordable than an ipod. They will all be happy....but there has been no mention of going to see santa at the mall, writing him a letter, an email, etc. There hasn't even been talk about what kind of cookies we will be leaving for him this year. It feels so much different. Next year, I will ramp things up again for Sidney's 3rd Christmas. No big surprises this year.
it simply feels more calm and quiet -- a mature kind of Christmas....mixed in with the excitement. Simon (12) came home from school the other day and began to jump up and down for 5 minutes after seeing the presents under the tree.
One tradition i will continue to keep is that I wrap each gift in a different paper and leave out the name -- there are many 'anonymous' gifts under our tree. keeps them in suspense.
Always, thank you for listening
Katie
1. A handmade work bench with Perry and Simon's name on either side and matching worker man aprons (john made this)
2. A pillow case that had a picture of each child sound asleep in the pajamas that they just opened up hours before on Christmas Eve
3. The next book in a sequence that was not even in print yet (even had a different jacket on it)
4. A new family kitten that seemingly appeared out of no where
5. A cell phone that mom and dad were vehemently opposed to
6. Hot Chocolate mugs with picture of each child sound asleep in the pajamas that they just opened up hours before on Christmas Eve.
For the past many years, my oldest has tried to catch Santa.
1. Hiding a note under his covers that said, "If you are real, will you leave a present by my bed for me?" (I am so happy that I found this note that evening. Santa was able to dig up something 'special' during those wee hours of the night
2. Placed a spy system maze of sorts that would trip off an alarm when crossing the red light beam
3. Set up a video camera to video tape the entire evening --- too bad that Cat from a few christmas' ago sat in front of the lens during the arrival of santa....we were able to hear him...just not see him.
Anyway, this year, there really is no "How did he do THAT?" scenario. Lucy is still teetering on whether she believes or not - so Santa is getting her a costumed made desk chair that her aunt in Duluth is making for her. Perry will get his expensive dicso light and simon will get a cool mp3 player that is a little more affordable than an ipod. They will all be happy....but there has been no mention of going to see santa at the mall, writing him a letter, an email, etc. There hasn't even been talk about what kind of cookies we will be leaving for him this year. It feels so much different. Next year, I will ramp things up again for Sidney's 3rd Christmas. No big surprises this year.
it simply feels more calm and quiet -- a mature kind of Christmas....mixed in with the excitement. Simon (12) came home from school the other day and began to jump up and down for 5 minutes after seeing the presents under the tree.
One tradition i will continue to keep is that I wrap each gift in a different paper and leave out the name -- there are many 'anonymous' gifts under our tree. keeps them in suspense.
Always, thank you for listening
Katie
Monday, December 19, 2011
Benevolence
December stresses me out because this is the month, as a parent, that I feel I need to ramp up all the good things we are supposed to do. My money to my local charities are padded and even my garbage man leaves me an envelope, enticing me to fill it with Christmas cash.
When December rolls around, I try to plan for "family moments" to share and embrace. I ask questions like, "What play should we go see this year?" "How can we volunteer to help others?" "What needs in church should be filled?" and the end result is stress. I am stressed and I don't need to be.
Why is it that the month of December needs to be a time to remember others?
Why am I asked in the month of December is I want to add an extra dollar here, or add in a $20.00 donation there? Why do I feel the pressure to place my kids under the miscroscope of "positiveness" and "charitability"
This year, I inducted a "Kindness Jar." and I told my kids that they only thing I want fof Christmas form them is a significant act of kindness. The "Kindness Jar" is a glass jar that sits upon our table with color coded pieces of paper and when they do an act of kindness, they are instructed to write it out and place it into the vase. These will then be all read on Christmas day. In theory, it sounded like a solid plan. My children will be encouraged to do 'kind deeds' during the giving month of December...but on January 1, this is all supposed to stop? The 'Kindness Jar' will be emptied and put back into the cupboard, the sales clerks will stop berating me for those few extra dollars, my extra donations to church will come to an end and my children and I will no longer need to be attentive to those in need.
(note: i had three additional paragraphs that closed this little segment off quite nicely....but somehow they disappeared. I will not be fixing this now...hopefully in the near future)
Thanks for listening and if you find this blog and you find yourself to be in the 'giving' frame of mind, please look at David's page and click on the 'donate' button.
http://davidplaisted.bbnow.org/
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| Kindness Jar |
Tis the month of December. This cursor blinks as I think about the magnitude of responsibility this month carries with it. It is not a month to take in lightly. It's not February ~ Black History Month. It is not March ~ good 'ol St. Paddy's Day, nor is it July ~ the celebration month of our nation. It is December --- the month of benevolence, kindness, compassion towards others, goodwill, altruism, etc, etc.
December stresses me out because this is the month, as a parent, that I feel I need to ramp up all the good things we are supposed to do. My money to my local charities are padded and even my garbage man leaves me an envelope, enticing me to fill it with Christmas cash.
When December rolls around, I try to plan for "family moments" to share and embrace. I ask questions like, "What play should we go see this year?" "How can we volunteer to help others?" "What needs in church should be filled?" and the end result is stress. I am stressed and I don't need to be.
Why is it that the month of December needs to be a time to remember others?
Why am I asked in the month of December is I want to add an extra dollar here, or add in a $20.00 donation there? Why do I feel the pressure to place my kids under the miscroscope of "positiveness" and "charitability"
This year, I inducted a "Kindness Jar." and I told my kids that they only thing I want fof Christmas form them is a significant act of kindness. The "Kindness Jar" is a glass jar that sits upon our table with color coded pieces of paper and when they do an act of kindness, they are instructed to write it out and place it into the vase. These will then be all read on Christmas day. In theory, it sounded like a solid plan. My children will be encouraged to do 'kind deeds' during the giving month of December...but on January 1, this is all supposed to stop? The 'Kindness Jar' will be emptied and put back into the cupboard, the sales clerks will stop berating me for those few extra dollars, my extra donations to church will come to an end and my children and I will no longer need to be attentive to those in need.
(note: i had three additional paragraphs that closed this little segment off quite nicely....but somehow they disappeared. I will not be fixing this now...hopefully in the near future)
Thanks for listening and if you find this blog and you find yourself to be in the 'giving' frame of mind, please look at David's page and click on the 'donate' button.
http://davidplaisted.bbnow.org/
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
No Connection
Update: The bathtub is in! It is great! It is wonderful! It is magnificent! It is......hopefully the last. Now it is drywall and paint time.
Two summers ago, my family of 6 ventured to Europe. As i was looking through one of my journals that I was in need of using, I found a quick blurb about a day in Strasbourg. I thought I would fill up some space with this past perspective.
June 8 2010
A bit of historical perspective
Polka music plays in the distance. The murmur of conversation and clopping of feet from inhabitants on the stone road counter the upbeat song.
Sitting on three small steps in a very small section of the large edifice known as the "Cathedral of Strasbourg:" We will soon walk inside and take an audio tour of this enormous visual marker of time continuum. Soon my head will be filled with too much detail to remember.
This morning, after breakfast, we were out upon the streets of Strasbourg - imagining the once familial inhabitants surrounding the public square. I think of those terrifying hours leading up to WWII. I think of the celebrations of life, the dancing, the music, the food and the essence of life that took hold of the city dwellers.
Strasbourg is a medieval town. This is a great place to share with family and children - but i find myself a bit resentful. This is not the escape of 'My" Europe trip. every time I pass something that should be treasured or remembered or every time i have to explain something in Cliff Note version, my tolerance meter fills.
Sitting on these three steps, I glance over to my oldest son, who has been asked to partake in this short writing exercise. His back is up against a wall of this place that leaves me without word. He sips on his Orange Crush like drink and when I ask him, "Why aren't you writing about this place?" He responds with, "My mind is a blank."
So, there ya go. Time is up.
Two summers ago, my family of 6 ventured to Europe. As i was looking through one of my journals that I was in need of using, I found a quick blurb about a day in Strasbourg. I thought I would fill up some space with this past perspective.
June 8 2010
A bit of historical perspective
Polka music plays in the distance. The murmur of conversation and clopping of feet from inhabitants on the stone road counter the upbeat song.
Sitting on three small steps in a very small section of the large edifice known as the "Cathedral of Strasbourg:" We will soon walk inside and take an audio tour of this enormous visual marker of time continuum. Soon my head will be filled with too much detail to remember.
This morning, after breakfast, we were out upon the streets of Strasbourg - imagining the once familial inhabitants surrounding the public square. I think of those terrifying hours leading up to WWII. I think of the celebrations of life, the dancing, the music, the food and the essence of life that took hold of the city dwellers.
Strasbourg is a medieval town. This is a great place to share with family and children - but i find myself a bit resentful. This is not the escape of 'My" Europe trip. every time I pass something that should be treasured or remembered or every time i have to explain something in Cliff Note version, my tolerance meter fills.
Sitting on these three steps, I glance over to my oldest son, who has been asked to partake in this short writing exercise. His back is up against a wall of this place that leaves me without word. He sips on his Orange Crush like drink and when I ask him, "Why aren't you writing about this place?" He responds with, "My mind is a blank."
So, there ya go. Time is up.
Friday, December 9, 2011
On Being 14
Tonight, my 14 year old had a 4 hour "party" at church with all the other 9th graders and high school guides in his Confirmation class. The night was all about games and messes and music and messes and noise and messes and lots of movement and messes. The hours ticked my agonizingly slow as I told this boy or that boy to not hit the ceiling lights with the basketball or to not pummel the other with the nearby inflatable guitar. The room sized jumping thing was an inside wrestling ring. Every now and again, i called a time out to tighten up the large air tube that frequenly came detatched. Doritos, Oreos, cookies, etc. Tick, tick, tick.
Youth Director came down, ordered the mob upstairs and had them line up outside the sanctuary. From there, the doors were open and all quietly proceeded into the dark, candle lit space with acoustic guitarist serenading beautiful melodies; filling the surround.
For an hour, I took it all in. This place I spend my Sunday mornings was transformed. My son, all of 14, experienced all of his world in the freedom of one night. Dancing, noise, mess, movement and then closing, completing and capping off the evening with significant matter. The 9th grade group spread out throughout the small church, sang in the songs, reveled in the mood, praised and met their God (where ever He is in their life) and gave themselves that time to be14.
My son is growing up. I watched him stand tall in his awkwardness and relate to the simple stories of his youth director. I watched him in the dim light make his way up to the cross, write something down and lay it at the foot. From the darkened corner, i watched this tall teen swagger back to his seat and continue in song with his peers.
He left this evening knowing just how much God wants a relationship with him. He left knowing that in a matter of months, he will be confirmed in this church and with that comes the mature responsibility of knowing.
It was cool to spend that last quiet hour watching from a distance the reception my son has to this world and to his God that is frequently fought over on those early Sunday mornings before church.
Youth Director came down, ordered the mob upstairs and had them line up outside the sanctuary. From there, the doors were open and all quietly proceeded into the dark, candle lit space with acoustic guitarist serenading beautiful melodies; filling the surround.
For an hour, I took it all in. This place I spend my Sunday mornings was transformed. My son, all of 14, experienced all of his world in the freedom of one night. Dancing, noise, mess, movement and then closing, completing and capping off the evening with significant matter. The 9th grade group spread out throughout the small church, sang in the songs, reveled in the mood, praised and met their God (where ever He is in their life) and gave themselves that time to be14.
My son is growing up. I watched him stand tall in his awkwardness and relate to the simple stories of his youth director. I watched him in the dim light make his way up to the cross, write something down and lay it at the foot. From the darkened corner, i watched this tall teen swagger back to his seat and continue in song with his peers.
He left this evening knowing just how much God wants a relationship with him. He left knowing that in a matter of months, he will be confirmed in this church and with that comes the mature responsibility of knowing.
It was cool to spend that last quiet hour watching from a distance the reception my son has to this world and to his God that is frequently fought over on those early Sunday mornings before church.
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