The Gingerbread House

This time of year, I fondly look back upon Christmas times past. This is a story that will never soon be forgotten.

December 20, 2001

This is a story written 8 years ago. Perry was 4 and Simon was 2 (Lucy was just 5 months old). I decided it would be a very loving and motherly moment to build a gingerbread house with my two boys. Here is the transpiration of that experience.

Below, you will observe the written instructions for creating a basic, “Kid-Friendly” gingerbread house. You will also experience my interpretation of such directions.

The Scene: Before all of this took place, I set the scene. I lined the kitchen floor with newspapers, took out all the kid friendly bowls and wooden spoons. Put the boys in their ‘it’s okay to get dirty’ clothes and show off the unopened, very fun gingerbread box to the boys

First: A two and a four year old are not the most desired of participants for this project. Hindsight is 20/20 they say!

Second: As I write this down from simple memory, I retrieve the “DIRECTIONS” to help in the writing process. Upon putting the paper down on the table, I notice the ‘Helpful Hints’ section on the back side. This clearly would have been helpful 2 hours ago.

Okay - let's look.

Direction #1: If you don't have a base for the gingerbread house, you can cut around the lines shown on back of box and cover with foil to use as base.

Katie's Interpretation: Unknowingly, cut around the *top* of box (the part with the pictorial reference), and cover completely with foil.

Direction #2: Beat contents of package in a small mixing bowl

Katie's Interpretation: A fool can mix contents in a bowl. Okay boys, we are on a roll.

Direction #3: Insert icing tip into decorator bag and cut end of bag to let tip come part way through.

Katie's Interpretation: What 'decorator bag?’ It must mean this white plastic bag that the powdered contents came in – that has already been ripped open. I'm supposed to insert the decorating tip into this old bag? Okay, if they say so. “Boys, let’s have mommy do this part. It’s a little tricky” Boys watch, quietly waiting for the okay from me to allow them to be actively involved.

Direction #4: Apply icing along bottom edge of back piece and stand up on base so there is room at the front yard of the house for decorations.

Katie's Interpretation: Okay, I can do this. I can do this. Somewhat of a foreign language, but I can do this. 2 and 4 year old look on as their ‘super-mom’ gets to work.

Direction #5: Apply icing on bottom and sides of walls positioning these pieces on the *Outside* of the back panel.

Katie's Interpretation: Okay, here we go. First of all, these side walls look rather large; but oh well. I professionally apply the frosting. While pushing the frosting through the 'decorator tip' that was positioned delicately within the reused plastic bag, I squeeze too hard and POP - bottom of bag breaks open and frosting goes in every direction. Perry and Simon, who were positioned so quietly as the attentive audience, seize the opportunity to begin scooping up splattered icing with tiny fingers and inserting them into their awaiting mouths.

Direction #6 Hold in place for several minutes until set

Katie's Interpretation: Cool. Quiet time. Things are cleaned up. Now we can sit back and relax and talk about how much we are enjoying ourselves.

Direction #7 Add roof pieces

Katie's Interpretation: Okay boys, here are the roof pieces. Ready? What is this, these pieces look awfully small. Hey, they don't fit. Oh-oh, looks like Mommy put the roof pieces on the side of the house.

"Mommy - nooooo. You did it all wrong!! Take it off!" says my 4 year old.
“Well, we can lay the roof down flat.” I respond with shaken confidence.
"Noooo. Take off the sides. We need our roof." The oldest says, while wiping away tiny tears.

Inhale – Exhale.

“Boys go downstairs to play and Mommy will fix this and clean up the mess.”

Boys come up when all is seemingly saved and fixed

Direction #8 Apply icing along all top edges of house. Hold both roof pieces in position for several minutes.

Katie's Interpretation: Slather on the icing. I don't care where it goes. Let's get this (filth and foul) project over with.

Direction #9 Use photograph as guide only. Be creative and make your own design.

Katie's Interpretation: “Photograph….photograph? Boys, do you see where there is a photograph of the house?”
This is when I realize that the 'picture' is being used as the base of this project and is all covered up.
**Be creative? ** "Okay boys, here's the candy. Have at it!" Boys translate this to mean, devour the hard candy pieces.

"Oh, I haven't tried the red one yet. I haven't tried the green one too!" Excitedly speaks the two year old in his two year old voice.

Direction #10 Glue decorations on house using icing. Spread base with icing for snow and decorate yard as desired.

Katie's Interpretation: Well, the majority of the icing splattered on the floor. Whatever we had in reserve was used to glue this monster gingerbread thing together. We have no more icing for side walk, door or yard….. Wait a minute. I have some old cake frosting in the cupboard. I'll use that (learns later, it does not do a thing but make a mess)

Direction #11 Clean up

Katie's Interpretation: As I am cleaning, I spot this folded piece of plastic on the kitchen floor. I unfold it and voila, the DECORATING ICING BAG

Katie's Interpretation: Tell boys that this is the most beautiful gingerbread house in the whole wide world.

Merry Christmas.