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My fingers tap at the keyboard.  I sit with friend's handmade blanket wrapped about and the laptop rests upon the soft yarn.  I opened up to find discovery tonight - to see if i open up the cognitive senses, if something will take place or transpire into a significant or noteworthy marker in this ticking clock spectrum.

There is a rhythm to my writing - i am not sure i understand how it works or how it comes across as something real.  There is mandolin symphony playing and singing softly - filling in this rhythm with it's cadence.

I have had a desire to fill my life.  Of course, I will grow old and gray and say things like, "I could have been this."  "I wish I was that."  It is hard to live the life of a Pessimist.  "I could have been a whistle, I could have been a flute. I real life giver, could have been a boot.'  I think i like to say at the end of the day that i tried my best to be something....but then measure to those about and insignificance comes along side and cozies right in.

So, even though my life is in full swing of transition at the moment, i can sit in response and say i am fulfilled; but I am always looking for more.  If I swam the English Channel, I would measure myself up against the others who did the same; instead of basking in the flow of placement.  I am not sure where this comes from.   Trying to find moments.

Sitting on the couch, music playing, SNL in the background, and no worries and yet I still try to measure up.  I like to keep my issues close at hand.  I think i need to go out and dance; get lost within the drone - - but for now, i shall simply go and rest my head and be thankful.

Thanks for listening.