The Here and Now

Well, there it is.  This is the visual of what was a thought, a guffaw, a moment of impossibility....there it sits. 

15 days .... i am operating within crushed minutes of the here and now. I am operating with lengthy lists, cell phone check offs, scrap paper doodles and a pile of hope that lays at peace behind my sun room couches...soon to take space on a table to be auctioned off.  



The toddler is asleep, the kitchen is finally cleaned of all its stickiness and taunting , the music is on and I have an hour and a half of focused planning time.  SO, there it is.  The power of Be. The power of Maybe. The power of, MAN, What in the WORLD was I thinking???

50 plus items...hardly a dent in the Silent Auction venue.  I feel defeated - knowing that if i had a committee or  assistance, or a "how can I help?" or "what can I do?" it would be so much better. 

When i hand Joy over the $45.20 check after all is said and done - she and I will go spend it on dinner somewhere; taking in deep breathes, laughing at the experience and nodding our heads in agreement.  I gave it my best.  It might have amounted to absolutely nothing, but I gave it my best. 

There it is.

Aside: last week, i went out with a friend of mine whom i had not seen in about a years time.  Around 'dessert" time, she asked for an update on 'that friend of yours who's husband died...."  Before we left the table that evening - two cups of coffee later....we had notes written, a things to do list drafted up, a 'committee' of 1 that was willing to take on any odd job i threw her way.  I was in tears, quietly telling her, Thank you, thank you, thank you.  To see my work added and given direction and new eyes was everything i could ask for.  She has since called twice - crossing off items on her list and wondering what else her 'committee' can take on.  I am blessed by this.  Overwhelmed. And didn't realize the strength and empowerment of a committee of one