As I write, I have a little girl who is cleaning up after the two of us painting wooden flowers. I have a 22 month old singing my name over and over again as he stomps around the house with his blue threaded friend. I am making time to write – it will be a split second and I can promise that. It takes nothing for me to write a couple of paragraphs. Today, I had 17 minutes to myself. I took it. With travel to and from piano, I had 17 minutes. I opened my lap top, wrote quickly and after I packed everything in to get back into the car, I quickly grabbed a cup of coffee. I ran to the store, bought stuff for lunch and picked up son from his lessons. The rest of the day is to be spent at home – whether it is cleaning, playing a board game, watching a toddler dance, playing catch or simply being present…nothing is on the calendar. But for 17 minutes, I was able to observe and be grateful and be present in body, mind and spirit.
Lately, I have been doing more for myself; but at no impediment to my family. I have gone out twice for dinner this week – but they have been late dinners. I was able to spend time with two friends. One I had not seen in 2 years and the other about the same. The last time I saw her, I announced to her that I was pregnant. The table was set, the meal was made the babe was in pajamas and ready for bed before I left. I did my job and I was able to go out and reclaim Katie for a couple of hours.
I am married to a man who works hard. He works hard by choice. During the baseball season, he is not home. I am home with kids --- yes, by choice, but with a hint of necessity. I am blessed to be here; but I have also acknowledged that my husband would not be the success he was if it were not for his wife who picks up every piece of slack that falls from him in his path. No accolades, an observation.
I am not a person to take time for granted. My day to day is proof of that.
The heartbeat of the baseball season is upon us and things are beginning to pick up. John leaves tomorrow and we will not see him until the following Sunday evening (if we are lucky – we may all be in bed). This will be a standard pretty soon. In a couple of months, he will basically say good bye to his family and we will see him sometime in October. The season will once again end with a celebratory dinner that Daddy is home. I am not complaining and I am not reaching out for pity. I have complete grasp that there are others completely less fortunate or who have husbands who are far busier than john.
I am selfish, I am spoiled, I am appreciative, and I am blessed. I am a busy mom in my very small world. How I choose to live my life may not be the right choice. What I say and do may completely go against the grain. I know for sure that I cannot devote 24 hours a day to my children and my husband without coming up for a bit of air – and this is what I do when there is an inch of time. The elevator door is beginning to close and I squeeze myself in – if only for the short ride.
4 minutes have passed since I have begun this posting and my time is up.
No comments:
Post a Comment