Back in the Game?

Well, maybe. It is beginning to feel like such. I am AT A COFFEE SHOP, PLANNING!! Well, actually, I am writing in my blog - but i am planning, nonetheless. My breathing is not as significantly binding and I am assuming after tomorrow comes and goes, it will be back to normal.

Odd Updates in no particular order

1. Simon: Recovering slowly from his ear surgery. I think this one has been the most significant and hopefully, will yield the best results. I think he is enjoying being a patient and getting doted on by his mother.

2. Daddy's T-Shirt Night: I am not sure why this is making the list; and I am positive I have written about it before. To remind: At the age of 4, Perry initiated what would become a long standing weekly tradition, "Daddy's T-Shirt Night." each and every friday, he and Simon dressed up in John's t-shirts, went to bed an hour early (to play) and spent the night together. When Lucy was old enough to join, they all slept together. The pictures above are from 5 years ago, when often, john's t-shirts where not necessarily apart of the evening, but the hour early and the laughing and goofing around, was prominent (do you see gato, the cat, in the mix?) I have a picture somewhere, and I can't find it, of a couple of months ago, probably at the beginning of summer, and I am certain this captured the last of the "Daddy T-Shirt Nights." The allure has waned and it has still been Perry rallying his brother and sister into just "One more Daddy's T-Shirt Night." About a year or so ago, Simon was the first one to say no to this group get together and Lucy at times, came out of whatever room they took over, saying her brothers were mean to her and she was sleeping in her own bed. The innocent laughter and goofy-ness had been replaced by a specific agenda of how the night would go. This is a tradition that I sadly say good-bye too. It was unique to our family, we called it our own and actually, John and I got an extra hour to spend together each Friday night as the kids went down early.

Perry: growing, growing, growing in all capacities - but what teenager doesn't. I sat in the living room this morning with my coffee while all slept. I recited in my head the "I'll Love You Forever" book. I think i know it by heart and began to cry.

The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!

But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

This is our journey.

Lucy: I am worried. If brave enough, i will be researching and actively seeking advise on some form of pediatric anxiety or panic disorder. She has many signs and I am quite hesitant for I am sure it will lead to some type of drug regime. Perhaps it is our relationship - but i see this in other avenues as well. I wish only success for my baby --- success in her world. Trembling, shaken and uncertain at this time. But as always, she has my back. She is alert, cognizant, often times a 'know it all' and at times, throws me these glances akin to, "Mom, can you believe these guys? and we have to *live* with them?"

Sidney: cute story to share about this boy sharing his 18 month of glorious adventure. Last week, he was playing on the keyboard. He began to slam down on the keys. I told him know and approached him to closely monitor this. he looked at me, lifted his arms slowly up in the air and slammed them down on the keys, looking at me through this exercise in "What will she really do?" I sternly said no again, turned off the keyboard, walked away and sat on the ground. He very cautiously turned toward me, and walked in my direction with his head hung low. "Ma-ma.....Ma-ma," he quietly repeated as he approached me. "Ma-ma," almost whispering. He comes up to me, nuzzles his head up against mine, begins to pat me on the back and puckers his lips and makes his kissing noises that he makes when wanting us to kiss him. "Ma-ma," he repeated, still patting my back and kissing me all the while.

okay - time to plan. that is why i am here. wish me luck.